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| Melissa Gaggiano Photography |
Do you have any idea? Even the tiniest speck of a
notion of what it feels to be so incapable of starting something and just
sticking to it without immediately moving on to the next amazing, brilliant
thing? I have inside my massively over driven, high octane, restless brain a
billion and one thoughts and ideas screaming and chanting at me every day,
every hour [and most especially at 3 o’clock in the morning] all striving for
my attention. With each brain fart becoming louder than the next.
Okay,
so? You’re creative.
Yes, I am creative. A creative mess, that is! So help
me goddess, I am absolutely hopeless with sticking to just That One Thing and
becoming sublimely fabulous with that outlet, whether it be drawing, painting,
photography, writing, violin, making dolls, knitting, DIY learning French for
Dummies. And so I travel from one creative village to another hoping to find a
place to call home. And there are times when I think I have found it, but the
next day a new wind blows and beckons me on to the next project. I feel like I
am living the story of Chocolat.
Just
accept that you haven’t found your thing.
Don’t say that. That’s not helping. Don’t you
understand the dome of paralysis I am living under? My frenetic journey, as I
dash from one activity to another, is enough to drive anyone crazy, even you, you annoyingly calm, reasonable
person. Some days I am so driven to distraction that my mind completely seizes
up and I am incapable of making a single decision. On days like that I wind up
staring at my navel completely paralysed by the choices before me. I am just so
scared of making the wrong decision. I am even more terrified of making the
right decision, if you can even fathom that paradox.
What
do you want to do about this?
You can help me make a decision. What do you think I excel
at?
I
don’t know. Maybe you can focus on the drawing.
Are you crazy? But what about the writing? Or the
photography? I might be missing my true calling if I don’t do those things. And
then… and then…
And
then what?
I have to lie down. I think my brain just fell out the
back of my head.
